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DIVORCE LAWYERS / ATTORNEYS ARTICLE: A SOLID RELATIONSHIP
A SOLID RELATIONSHIP
How to Work with Your Lawyer to Achieve the Best Possible Outcome
By Diana Shepherd
Before you hire an attorney to represent you in your divorce, you need to learn this important truth: you and your lawyer will become partners, for better or for worse, during and perhaps for years after the divorce process. And how well your partnership works can have an enormous affect upon the process and outcome of your divorce - and how much you’ll have to spend in legal fees along the way.
So you must make every effort to hire the right lawyer from the outset. “If you pick the wrong lawyer, your future, your assets and your children could be in jeopardy,” says Forrest Bayard, an attorney in private practice in Chicago. “You should examine your goals and attitudes before going to see a lawyer,” he continues. Do you want to be generous, or nail your ex to the wall? Do you want an amicable or an adversarial divorce? “Look to your future. Determine what you want for yourself, your kids, and your ex in six months, one year, and ve years,” advises Bayard. “Then choose a lawyer who will support you in realizing that future. “Attorneys have different styles and biases, he notes, so you should look for one who’s “compatible” with you: who understands and respects your thoughts and feelings - and who will support you to be the best you can be in realizing your goals.”
FINDING A LAWYER
Start by asking for recommendations from close friends or family members (your friends and your family - not your spouse’s) who have been through divorce themselves. If you can’t get any personal recommendations, there are professional organizations that offer lawyer referral services.
After your initial conversation with a lawyer, you should be able to answer these questions: “Does this lawyer listen to me when I talk? Is the lawyer interested in what my goals are, or only with his or her own goals?” Look for someone who:
• Practices matrimonial or family law.
• Has a lot of experience.
• Is a skilled negotiator.
• Is rm, but reasonable.
• Is compatible with you and your goals.
• Is totally candid.
• Is not in con ict with your best interest.
Don’t share a lawyer with your spouse, don’t hire your spouse’s best friend (even if she’s a friend of yours, too), business partner, or any member of your spouse’s family to represent you - even if you’re on good terms with them. Aside from the obvious con ict of interest involved, you’ll have created enemies - and probably a whole new family feud - before your divorce settles.
Your choice will be partially dictated by your spouse’s choice: if the divorce is relatively easy and friendly, you can probably agree on what kind of representation you need. If the divorce is very bitter, if there’s money, assets, or children at stake; or if your spouse is just plain “out to get you,” consider hiring a well-respected individual or rm.
As in any profession, there are good lawyers and bad lawyers. It’s up to you to do your homework - and to ask the right questions - to determine which group your attorney falls into.
Sometimes, despite their best efforts, people end up choosing the wrong lawyers. “Normally, a client will gravitate to the lawyer who will ful ll his or her needs - whether that be for a tough litigator or low-key negotiator,” observes David Wildstein, who heads the matrimonial practice at Wilentz, Goldman & Spitzer. If it’s clear that you’ve chosen the
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